Karl's Funeral Speech - scheduled post

This piece of paper has been blank for so many days. I don’t know how to sum up Emmy on a sheet of A4. It’s not possible. So I won’t try. I believe that everyone has their own memories of her so I’m not here to plant new ones. I just want to express what Emmy meant to us, and I think to everyone that knew her. As you all know, Miss Amelia Ashwell-Day – who would be shooting The Look at me now for calling her that! – was one of a kind. The sweetest, kindest, softest little lady. She was truly something else. I believe she was wise beyond her years. Easily the smartest and quickest person I know, she might have been little and timid at first glance, but my goodness could that girl stand her ground and fight her own corner! Some people would call her stubborn, Em would call herself determined. I say she was strong. Stronger than she ever realised. To have lost so much but offered her dad all the love and support in the world during some difficult years – that takes a strong person. And a fantastic daughter. To have cared for and nurtured a baby that was hers in every sense apart from biological, that takes a strong woman. Especially to continue showering that boy with all the love in the world even after she brought her own new life into the world… there was never any difference in the way she thought of and treat Ashley and Brooke, despite having the obvious extra bond with her B. She’ll have my eternal admiration and gratitude for that. To have stood for several hours at a Take That concert half-way through treatment for what turned out to be terminal cancer, that’s mad in my book… but that was Em! Mark Owen and Robbie Williams, I take my hat off to you both, you absolutely made our girl’s day that evening. And Em was funny. She was witty and smart and could always quip back at you with a better response than whatever you’d just thrown at her. Seeing her in a full-blown argument was great! Ashley is taking a leaf out of his mum’s book… always has to have the last word. That comes from Emmy, even if she whispered it so, so quietly, she would have the last word. But the amazing thing is, no matter the argument and no matter who with, she would forgive and move on. Not many people can say they do that. She wouldn’t forget though and could use something from years ago against you in any argument – she never, ever let me forget about the football I kicked into her head in the playground when we were still at school! That turned out to be a happy accident, as it brought our Em into my life. Anyone who has had Em in their life can only consider themselves blessed. She wasn’t here for long – she started saying recently that you’re here for the good time, not the long time. It would have been nice for her to be here longer than her 27 years, but what she did in her short life was perfect for her. The most perfect part being our daughter, Brooke. Emmy was so scared about becoming a mum, but I’ve never seen her take to something so naturally. I think most people think of Em and remember her writing. She was a writer. But being a mum was what she did best. First with Ashley and then with Brooke. It’s what she was meant to do. Anyone who wasn’t fortunate enough to see Em with her daughter, you just have to meet little B to see – she is a mini Emmy. Yes she looks like her mummy, but all her characteristics and how she moves and touches, it’s all Em. I was the proudest man alive when Em brought our beautiful Brooke into the world, and I’ll always be so proud of her for doing that. We have the most beautiful daughter together and Emmy doted on her, I know she’ll be watching her baby and guiding her through life. (turn to coffin) Thank you, Emmy, for giving me the most precious gift a woman can give. I’ll take excellent care of our girl and she’ll always remember you. I think we should all learn something from Emmy. None of the usual life’s too short cliché that gets thrown around, but how to love. Emmy did love, she loved so very much. She adored her children, showered them with love and affection. She treasured her dad and held him so dear, and I know how much she appreciated Christine being in their lives. She never stopped loving her mum and James, and we hope so sincerely that she has found them now. She had such a special place in her heart for Josh. I know that. (look at Josh) Mate, what you gave up for Emmy is so credible. She respected you, adored you. Your world has been turned upside down now but think of how blessed you have been. And finally her friends. We are all so proud to have been such a part of her life. So many people always asked after Emmy – Gemma and I had so many numbers to call ten days ago and each one was difficult, but comforting at the same time to know that our grief is shared. It is very touching and has been such a comfort to John, Christine and ourselves. (turn to coffin, talk to Em) It’s time for you to go and play in the clouds now, Emmy Day. Thank you, for doing me the honour of being my very best friend. Thank you, from your dad, for every happiness you brought him. Thank you, from Josh, for being perfectly you. Thank you, from Ashley, for showing him a mother's love. And thank you, from your baby girl Brookey, for making her perfect, just like you were.

On Emmy's behalf

We have a checklist of things to do, but no particular order in which to do them. Emmy has left notes all over the place, instructions for each of us to carry out over the next couple of weeks. Her very first note told us all to crack open a bottle of wine last night and have a drink for her - we didn't need telling twice. We did need more than one bottle, however. Her next instruction is this: "I'm handing over my blog now to Gemma, Karl and Josh - I know you'll know what to do with it. Just follow your hearts and write whatever feels right, if anything at all. It was never a big deal anyway, but I know certain people (R, for one) do read it. Tell him Panda! Sorry if that freaks anyone out, I'm not meant to be talking from here, am I? Over to you, guys and doll!" We don't really know where to go with this, we talked about it this morning. We don't want to dominate it with "us" and how we're feeling - it was Emmy's space. So we decided we would just start by linking the list of songs Emmy has picked out for her funeral - there might be more added or we might not be allowed this many, but this is what our girl asked for. Stereophonics - Dakota Bruce Springsteen - Secret Garden Bruno Mars - Just The Way You Are (kind of chosen by someone else) Noisettes - Never Forget You Robbie Williams - Baby Girl Window (for Brooke and Ashley) Take That - Rule The World (for her dad) That's all from us for now. Karl, Gemma, Josh