I realise it's been a while since I last wrote on here, but fear not - I'm still around!
What's been happening in the last month...? A few hospital visits; crippling chest pains; a blood transfusion; realising that I can no longer walk without aid, whether it be my crutches, my wheels or an arm; planning a radiotherapy schedule with my consultant; making the decision to take no more chemo and have my Hickman line removed.
Almost nine months I've had that line in for... so I feel a bit strange now it's gone. It only got removed today, so I'm a little sore at the moment. And I feel like something's missing. I think I'd got used to it being there. And it took me so long to get used to having it in the first place!
The removal itself was straightforward and pain-free. I could feel it being wiggled to free it, and could feel it being slid out, but it didn't hurt.
And now... well now I can take my baby girl swimming, and she can rest her head on me while we're having a cosy snuggle without me having to move her to one side.
It'll be strange not having to tap her hand away from tugging on it, too!
I think it's a bittersweet farewell - I'm thrilled that it's gone and I can start to look a bit normal again, but I can't help thinking that by refusing any further chemo this is going to be the start of the end.
Who really knows...
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